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Late Night Musings

Why I’m against Gay Marriage.

Seth Eagelfeld | 03.17.08 | 10 Comments

“Marriage is a wonderful institution, but who would want to live in an institution?”–H.L. Mencken

As we get closer and closer to our actual election, we are concurrently getting closer and closer to the resumption of the ‘Culture War’ and, likewise, the resumption of the ‘Defense of Marriage’. Well, in light of such fortifications, I think it’s time I lay out my own thoughts on the matter: I’m against it.

I have no problem with Gay people, in fact, am rather fond of the ones I know. Furthermore, the infantile need of a certain segment of our population to know–at all times–where boys and girls stick their wee-wee’s absolutely disgusts me. I know, I know, they were born that way (I’m speaking of conservatives), but that doesn’t make it any less ridiculous. Gays have been and always shall be part of our societies, as they are a part of every society in the animal kingdom; I don’t know why and, as it offers no threat to me, don’t really care. In fact, the only homosexual who ever really threatened civilization was a certain King James–author of a book that keeps giving us problems.marriage_marriage_b0000evwxk.jpg

No, it’s not the ‘Gay’ part of the equation that bothers me, it’s the ‘Marriage’. That’s the lifestyle of which I am phobic. I can agree with the Culture Warriors in one respect: Marriage has deteriorated, and further would agree on their assessments of why–because we’ve begun treating women like human beings, have become largely literate, and have learned that sex is in large part what makes us human–but I must disagree that this is all something lamentable. Throughout it’s history marriage has been the perpetrator of no end of abuses, mistreatment’s, inequalities, and reasonings that just go against common-sense. The institution at it’s heart, despite what some may say, is not about children, or love, or stability–all of which can be achieved much easier and better by cohabitation–it is about property, and only ever has been. Whether it’s the historical definition: Wife as property, or the current one: spouses as stand-ins for property (and estates), we’re still just talking about property, the anti-thesis of love and family and all those other things that make our eyes gleam. It is marriage which has led to ‘broken homes’, it’s marriage which ruins the partnership between couples, and it’s certainly marriage which leads to divorce.

But two things: 1) For my gay friends: Yes, I believe even stupid institutions deserve to be equal, but I’d warn you against making the same mistake that straight people have for centuries. 2) For married people: I don’t blame you, nor think less of you, but I just wish people would stop giving me that look when I say ‘No, I don’t wish to get married’ like I must have a harem in my apartment or some other den of drug-filled debauchery. And I also wish that my older female-friends wouldn’t speak to me with self-loathing about being ‘unmarried’ as if they were defective or unnatural. I do believe in monogamy, very much so, but marriage isn’t promoting monogamy, it’s destroying it. It’s turning it into little more than a piece of paper, one which replaces love and commitment with something far more disposable and retractable.

If my generation is hell-bent on destruction, let this be what we destroy, a destruction that’s positive and good for society. Let’s get rid of a broken institution and then truly tell the government to get the hell out of our bedrooms.

Have you considered Subscribing to all of this madness?

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