Whenever I hear the word ‘brand’, I reach for my….

Although I am a blogger (and fiction writer) I still have a small regard for empiricism, thus, to begin:

Webster’s Definiton of ‘Brand’:

a class of goods identified by name as the product of a single firm or manufacturer.

Of course, no sentence (or post) can really describe what the word ‘brand’ means today. Or–to get snooty– to YOU. Just as all produced matter under the sun has magically become ‘content’, so too have all individuals–however authentic– become ‘brands’. We were never asked about this and, in my opinion, accepted it a little too easily. It’s natural, however, to want to do what was once unattainable. It’s exciting to make Hollywood-style movies on your home computer, it’s exciting to burn them on to a DVD that’s no different from the ones made by major studios and, yes, it’s exciting to be able to have the same personal packaging and consistency of Wal-Mart or Coke. The problem is, as we embrace the methods that once belonged solely to big corporations, far too many of us are also embracing all their charm (or lack thereof).

BURN YOUR BUSINESS CARDS!!!

I’ve realized that I have this terrible habit lately of forgetting my business cards whenever I attend conferences, events, etc. But I’ve figured out that it isn’t me really forgetting them, but part of a subconscious game I play with myself: Well, now you’ll just have to make them remember you! Is that
bad
branding? It’s
terrible branding!Is that bad branding? It’s terrible branding! But other people, good branders, make hundreds of cards, the overwhelming majority of which, I PROMISE YOU, end up on the bottom of people’s laundry machines in those beautiful paper sculptures that only laundry machines can make. Now, if they don’t remember my name, that’s fine; but if they do, then certainly Google can tell them everything they need to know about me and no paper has been wasted.

But this isn’t an environmental concern. My point is: I want to connect, not ‘do business’ (there’s a reason they haven’t dropped that word from ‘business card’). Doing business leads to fruitless partnerships and bad working relationships–the latter being, in fact, redundant. Doing business is over. At-least to YOU it is. At-least it is to any project which isn’t a strictly ’stay above the line’ profit based endeavor. There’s nothing, nothing, you can’t do yourself nowadays (save surgery or construction), so why enter into partnerships with people who you don’t like, who don’t like you, and with whom your conversations–and, likewise, areas of interest–weren’t interesting enough for them to remember your name.

And stop saying ‘cynergy‘. Please. We don’t have any.

There is no solicitation 2.0

While walking through Times Square this weekend, I was approached by another young kid trying to get me to attend another comedy show. I thought, pondering TS’s highly touted ‘progress’: What’s the difference between ‘Hey bro, do you like comedy’ and ‘Hey baby, need a date’? Both offers get in my way, annoy me, and are said just as authentically as they were said to the last idiot who walked by.

I see this all the time on the various social-media meeting places. People, many of whom I respect and like, pimping their ‘brand’ endlessly as if I don’t know what pimping looks like (Oh, that’s what’s on your companies site, gee). Or the 4 links to your blog post on Twitter, followed by 3 links in anticipation of your next post. The 100 updates on your conference, the 20 on your product, and 10 or so reminding me to join your Facebook group. This is not innovation. It’s annoyance. And it existed long before the Internet. Whenever I see it filling up Twitter, Facebook, Seesmic, etc. I always want to tell it’s perpetrator’s (who are usually friends), out of love, what my Mom told me when I was little: “Excuse me, we were having a conversation.”

Introducing the Anti-Brand

What’s the Anti-Brand?

The anti-brand doesn’t carry business cards because you’ll remember the anti-brand. You like him (or her). They don’t have to tell you about their content more then once because your into what the anti-brand is into. You like what they’re doing. Right on, you say with excitement. The anti-brand doesn’t vet every action for consistency because the anti-brand knows who they are. The anti-brand knows that conferences are for free alcohol. The anti-brand wants ‘readers & subscribers’ not ‘hits & views’. The anti-brand wants ‘friends’ not ‘followers’ and ‘trust’ not ‘rank’. The anti-brand defies metrics and that scares the crap out of branders. The anti-brand might end up at the bottom of your social-media laundry machine (sorry), but they also might be the one person you were looking for. The anti-brand doesn’t even have to be called the ‘anti-brand’ because this anti-brander has discarded his brand.

The only thing growing as fast as the tools for communication are the tools to filter out unwanted communication. A brand, more often then not, revolves around selling me just that. Maybe you and I can’t commit just yet to being anti-brands, but I think we should try.

Or am I wrong?