Perhaps it is due to the unhappiness of our times that we’ve become obsessed with being happy, with who’s happy, with who’s unhappy, what groups are likely to be happy, what action and behaviors are certain to make one unhappy. Rarely a week can go by without the media regurgitating some asinine–and completely arbitrary–poll conducted by a university, a think tank, or a research group telling us that “65% of married people claim unhappiness”, “Blacks not happy”, “Christians happy”, “Teenagers sad, sad, sad”. By what measurement have they come to these conclusions? And what exactly is the medical definition of being ‘happy’?
And for every person who answers with shame that “No, I’m not happy”, there’s a Barnum standing by with no end of cures and concoctions. The ‘happiness’ industry may very well be bigger than the tobacco and real-estate markets. The self-help section of the bookstore is increasing faster than the national debt. People are packing into the pews with fervor not seen in the caves of the middle-east. Pills are being dispensed to the unhappy of all ages like candy–actually, I don’t think that’s even an apt analogy anymore. Everyday a new book, a new secret, a new philosophy, religion, pill, exercise, way of having sex, sleep-number bed, body-spray promises us this elusive happiness. When did we come to the consensus that one is supposed to be happy, that this ‘El Dorado’ should be our life’s mission and that we should dedicate 1/3 of our life’s earnings to finding it. And, more importantly, who is happy? 
I’m not happy. I’ve had happy moments, sure. And they’re certainly things worth being happy about. To wit:
- Tom Waits will, eventually, I suppose, put out another album.
- Henry James wrote books.
- New York City was built.
- George Bush will be leaving in January.
But on the whole am I happy: No! If I laid out every moment of my life and judged the overall mood of each one, I’d have to say that I’ve lived my existence somewhere in the middle: not too happy, not too sad. And I’m not unhappy about my lack of exuberant happiness; who decided that we had to be happy all the time or even 65% of the time? Things happen in life: some good, some bad, some just so-so; You can’t react to all of it with one constant emotion. Happiness is not humanness. You don’t get to be happy all the time! And the lack-of-happiness is not indicative of somethings worth. So what if married people are happy or unhappy, it says nothing about marriage (this does), teenagers–teenagers are definitely not supposed to be happy (were you?), in fact, I trust no one under the age of 35 who claims–even in the remotest sense–to be ‘happy’.
The happiness myth is an attempt by these think tank university miscreants and assorted frauds & hucksters to judge the lives of other people in a way that is unanswerable and undebatable. If I say “People from the south” are not happy, who’s to prove me wrong? They can, of course, say “well, yes I am!” to which I’d respond “Prove it!”. And how can they? They can’t! No one can because no one is really happy, not in the ridiculous and fantastical sense we’ve come to define the word. Everyone–who isn’t on some sort of narcotic–is just somewhere in the middle: not too happy, not too sad. The sooner we all understand that, the sooner we can all be happy.
Have you considered Subscribing to all of this madness?
Perhaps your just genetically destined to be “not too happy, not too sad”…
We recently wrote about this issue at Brain Blogger. Recent studies using twins found that happiness and depression are inheritable and there are genetic links to certain personality traits. Those who are extroverted, open, agreeable and conscientious are more likely to be happy. Those with opposing traits — introversion, disagreeability and neuroticism — are more likely to be depressed.
I would like to read your commentary on our article. Thank you.
Sincerely,
Shaheen
I agree with you that too much emphasis is placed on “finding happiness”. Like it is a location where we will arrive.
To me, happiness is the old “inside job”. It comes from within and does not depend on the externals.
True, life hands us stuff that some may consider bad. But it is one’s perception of the good and bad that makes it so.
Most times, we do not know whether something that happens is a miracle or a tragedy.
I would suggest that one way to increase your state of happiness is to concentrate on the good things in your life. The things for which you are grateful.