For some, opening a door for another human being is quite easy; like walking or breathing, they never really think of what’s behind the action or consciously plan the elaborate movement of elbow, wrist, and hand. But others–and here’s where I put myself–for whatever reason, were never taught, or expected, to extend this general courtesy to their fellow humans.
I find it to be quite stressful, in fact. When is the person close enough that you should hold the door for them, or at what point are they too far away? Is it awkward and strange to hold open a door for a female your age? If there’s a large group of people, how many should you hold the door for before passing the task onto someone else? All of these thoughts still run through my head from time to time, leaving me terrified of being either rude or intrusive.
As I said, I’m not a natural door-opener. The majority of my middle-class life was spent in the dark about this basic action. I was a door-slammer, a door dropper, a brute, a savage even! Unfortunately, this race to which I unwilling belonged is responsible for history’s greatest crimes. Hitler, I’m guessing, didn’t open doors for others–actually, probably opened doors for selective groups of people, which is far worse. Evil Kings, tyrants, corporate scum, school shooters, homophobes and misogynists, fundamentalists and demagogues: I think I can say that none of them open doors for others, at least not unless they feel they’ll get something in return–which, again, is just as bad.
I made a very, very conscious decision a few years ago to reverse this horrible track I was on, to free myself from the company of such people, to join the ranks of the decent and kind. As I’ve already said, it’s not always easy. But nowadays being decent isn’t. Every purchase has the possibility of causing suffering somewhere. Our clothes are made by Asian slave-labor, the act of visiting others ends in oil wars across the globe, the very coffee I drink as I write this probably helped further a culture of rape and pillage that’s been the reality of South America for centuries. We’d like to fight all of these injustices, to end suffering wherever it’s found, but we don’t know how. We can no more end our own way of life than we could cut off our own limbs.
But I can open doors. For everyone. No matter who they are. I extend this tiny act of decency and kindness to all people.
I don’t want a revolution or a massive migration of thought. I don’t want, or need, or expect science to solve the world’s problems, or for religion to, or for politics to, or philosophy and theory. Every November I vote, but have no illusions that one candidate or another will deliver a utopia, nor do I even want a utopia. I just want the world to be a slightly better place. Opening a door may not do this overnight, but, in the end, maybe it’s enough.
Have you considered Subscribing to all of this madness?
