Killing Marketers: Is it fun?

Murder is wrong, of course, is the common complaint I always hear. Agreed. Well, not entirely. As any lawyer will tell you, there are exceptions. If a man wishes to strangle you, wishes to kill you, it can be agreed by most reasonable people that–should you have on you the instruments for his demise–he’s already given up his own right to life. Those people with children would tell you, quite rightly, that they would kill someone who tried to hurt their children; rarely does such an admission get anything but a smile from those around them. On Memorial Day we celebrate the killing of no end of people: Nazis, Fascists, Slave-owners, Monarchists, Bonapartists. In fact, most holidays celebrate killing: Easter (Jesus), Fourth of July (a whole bunch of British folks), Columbus Day (don’t even get me started). So, let’s agree that killing is wrong, but….with exceptions.

But what is my exception? Whose actions do I think have caused them to veto their own inherent right to exist? Pollution–which the Catholic Church now says is a deadly sin–is a funny thing: The more there is of it, the less we realize it’s a problem. An old plastic cup sitting on a beautiful clean grassy knoll is a obvious problem, but when the entire knoll is covered in garbage we assume that that’s just how things are. As I go deeper and deeper into muddy waters, I realize that less and less people seem to care about who muddied the waters, in fact, have resigned to enjoy the mud and analyze the mud, write about the mud, because it’s easier than fighting the mud. Who turned all online work into ‘content’, who made monetization the climax of all artistic endeavors? Who made us brands? Who made all the people we tried to connect with an ‘audience’, who made all those connections a ‘reach’? Who assigned worth to everything and made everything so goddamn worthless?

If, for the sake of argument, ‘A’ is an artist and ‘B’ seeks to destroy not just ‘A’s art but the very idea of art in general, is ‘A’ justified in beating ‘B’ with a hammer until ‘B’ sees his chosen Deity? I would say he is. In fact, more than just justified, obligated. Yes, when some-one’s evil, awful, fucking ways are permeating everything worth anything, we are not just morally right in summarily executing them, but morally wrong if we fail to do so. It would be actually irresponsible to the ‘community’ for us to let such sins go unnoticed and unpunished. Hell, you’re enjoying the Internet right now, wouldn’t you spill some blood to save this ‘conversation’?

So, yes, killing marketers may very well be morally acceptable. The only real question left is the one which all good marketers are now asking: Is it fun?