A Domain For Sale

After recovering from a mid-April weekend getting banged, bludgeoned, and bruised in every orifice (and then some) by a certain Uncle named Sam, I started mulling through my head–still filled in a way my wallet no longer is–over every stupid purchase, big and small, that I’ve made in the last fiscal year; and how much money I’d have saved if I’d just walked away from the register or kept my mouse from hitting the ‘buy now’ button. One of the dumbest of these purchases was an Internet domain–buying such things is a major addiction of the naughts–but it wasn’t the .com’s for dozens of buzzwords I thought would be HUGE in 2008. No, the worst piece of Internet real-estate I bought was far less prophetic: setheagelfeld.com.

That domain, sitting parked/re-directed on this site’s ‘What I do’ page, has offered me no use. It cost twenty dollars and now that my wallet has been raided by George Bush et al., I’m pondering all those things I now lack, that could’ve been bought for that $20.00:

• Ten Subway rides around my beautiful city.
• A bleacher seat during Yankee Stadium’s last year.
• A cheap-seat at the opera.
• A fairly decent bottle of wine.
• About three books at The Strand.
• I’m sure there’s more….

‘Eagelfeld’ was a name given to my grandfather by some idiot clerk at Ellis Island who couldn’t understand Yiddish, take it if you want. ‘Seth’ was given to me by my parents and is my name no matter what GoDaddy or Google says. I’m not a market or brand or business and, most certainly, not a domain. My identity was made by 22 years of life, of moments good and bad; not by a casual–and stupid–waste of twenty dollars.

I’ve written of some of the most personal things in my life on here–granted, usually hidden behind a character–and anyone looking to find something to attack me with need only go back through my archives, they don’t need to impersonate anything, believe me, the truth is, as usual, far more damning and embarrassing. If you are the one who gets my domain (See Below), the worst thing you could do is re-direct to a handful of truly horrifying revelations hosted right here.

Anything that’s ever been truly worthwhile is impenetrable by the useless peons that always shit on such things. These people: The school Bully, the fratboy, the pundit–their job has always been, will always be, to act as antagonists to those who are of actual importance; only in this capacity can they exist (for a while), but without someone to harass they quickly dissipate because they have no natural skills, nothing worth paying attention to. They don’t create, they react. Are they slightly annoying, yes. Are they somewhat funny, sure. Are they completely disposable, of course. In they end, they’re a footnote, a sideshow, a fake domain name.

So, as of today, I’m putting SethEagelfeld.com back on the market. I need the money more than the name! I’m foregoing all the added fees and taxes that they charged me and selling it–as is– for $20.00 US. If you act now, I’ll even throw in my Facebook account and all Seth Eagelfeld naming rights across the web. Also, if you simply email me and tell me that someone has, in fact, stolen your domain name and you need a new one, go ahead and cut that price in half: $10.00!

Hope to hear from you soon, but you better hurry up. Pretty quickly none of this–including the contents of this post–will mean anything to anyone and then we’ll all have to get a fucking life.